Have you ever noticed when you have PMS (I call it my grumpy bitch from hell day) that it seems like everyone around you turns into complete a*holes and are just out to make your life difficult?! Well, hello, everybody’s just reflecting your shit back at you, baby!
My man and I used to practically break up every month until I finally got on top of my hellishly out of balance hormones.
Here are 3 tips I want to share with you on dealing with difficult emotions that I learnt from those hellish hormone days.
1. When your thoughts turn negative, put down your weapon and put your hands in the air
I’m serious! When your thoughts turn negative (sometimes seemingly outside of your control, such as with crazy hormones) the best thing you can do is stop thinking. It took me a while to realise that when I was in a negative space, and it seemed like everything was going wrong, this wasn’t actually the case. Now when I realise I’m in a bad mood, I don’t let myself start telling a negative story about a situation or person. I realise that in this moment my mind would put a negative spin on winning a million dollars if it had the chance and so I just chill out as much as I can. When I’m in this space I don’t ring my partner as I know I’ll just pick a fight. I don’t even let my mind get started. Instead I distract myself until I’m back in a better space again. Which takes me to point two.
2. Chill out and distract yourself aka eat chocolate brownie and shop!
The other day, the first I realised I had PMS was when my partner asked something minor of me and I nearly bit his head off. Up until then I thought I’d been having a pretty good day. You may think that this is the best time to work through what you are telling yourself, and maybe even have a deep and meaningful with your partner. Hell no! What I chose to do was go shopping with my sister. We started at the Chocolate Lounge with the most delicious chocolate brownie and hot chocolate and ended up dress shopping. It was fantastic! It completely shifted me out of my dark mood, I had a great day with my sis and I’m sure my partner had a much more enjoyable day too.
Now as a general rule, I don’t eat sugar. But breaking your own rules now and again is part of a balanced life. You set em, you can break em. The key is in making a conscious choice that you feel good about. If I had felt guilty about eating the chocolate brownie it would have defeated the purpose. But I didn’t. Always take the path of least resistance back to feeling good again. Sometimes this just happens to involve chocolate. I’m sorry but it does. Many times in the same situation I haven’t eaten chocolate and that also felt good because I had a goal that I wanted more (e.g. training for a body building comp). Only you can know. The key is to feel good about whatever choice you make.
3. Tune in to the calm beneath the storm
One of the biggest and most powerful lessons having hormonal mood swings taught me, was that I can still choose my state of being even when my state of mind is not the best. I don’t have to buy into the story my mind is telling me or get caught up in the swirling emotions. There is another option. What do I mean by this?
Imagine that you are like the ocean. On the surface are the waves, which are like your constantly changing thoughts and emotions and deep down at the seabed it is still and this is like your state of being. Your state of being is that Stillness that you are, beyond thought. You can learn to tune in to this by stopping your thoughts for 2-5 seconds, through meditation or yoga, or any other practice where you focus on your breath. I have learnt how to tune into this Stillness this peace, even whilst my emotions feel chaotic and in turmoil. This is available to everyone and is a powerful practice that helps you feel grounded and calm.
I hope this helps anyone who has struggled with difficult emotions. And if you have any tips, please share, we would love to hear from you! If difficult emotions are still something you struggle with and would like help with, please get in touch with me here