Hey lovely ladies
Do you get sick and tired of hearing ‘you need to love yourself more’? Have you been there, done that, with the whole positive affirmations, and sticky notes all over the house with ‘I love myself’ plastered on them, thing? Well me too, and let me tell you, there is a much simpler way.
I’m going to share one super simple, practical thing with you when it comes to loving yourself. In fact, I would go as far as to say, this is all you need to know. Are you ready? Here it is:
When you’re feeling good, you’re loving yourself, when you’re feeling bad, you’re not.
Yes it really is that simple! Your feelings are your inbuilt guidance system and let you know when you are believing things that are true for you, and when you aren’t. The key to loving yourself is to tune in to how you’re feeling following these 2 steps:
Step One – Notice how you are feeling
- Check in with yourself as often as necessary during the day and notice how you are feeling. Get so good at noticing your feelings that you don’t let yourself go for hours feeling crappy.
- When you are feeling good, do whatever you can to build the momentum of that – appreciate all the good things in your life, laugh, have fun, think about things that make you feel good. This is loving yourself.
- When you notice you are feeling bad, do whatever you can to stop the momentum of that – distract yourself, chill out, slow down, notice what you’re telling yourself. This is also loving yourself.
Step Two – Question your thoughts
- When you are feeling bad or low tell yourself: “I must be believing something that is not true for me, I wonder what it is?”
- If you are able to identify the thought, question it: “What am I believing about myself/this person/this situation?” “Is this true?”
- Tell yourself the truth. Talk to yourself as the ideal Mum or Dad would talk to their much loved child. Reassure yourself, encourage yourself, give yourself whatever you most need in that moment.
Can’t kick the habit of beating yourself up? Here’s why
If you find you’re addicted to being down on yourself, there is a reason. The reason is, on some level of your being, you believe this is of the most benefit to you. Maybe staying small and insignificant was the only way you knew how to stay safe when you were a child. Maybe it stops you from getting knocked back by someone else. If you want to change this pattern, ask yourself “how is it benefiting me to think negatively about myself?” “how does this serve me?”. And then give the answer space to come.
If you found this post helpful please share it with your friends! And if loving yourself is something you struggle with and you would like some help with it, then book in a free session with me here