‘Victim’ has become a dirty word. Nobody wants to be labeled a victim and it is often used in the derogatory sense. Phrases such as “he always plays the victim” or “there she goes, acting the victim again”, are common. There is a ready-made sense of powerlessness built in. Like it’s not okay to have wrongs acknowledged. Now I wonder where that comes from…
I know for myself I used to have a strong aversion to victim energy in other people and have spent a lifetime avoiding any sense of victimhood in myself.
However, I went through an intense and challenging period of healing last year (aka falling apart completely and being put back together again). And I kept telling myself things like “well everything happens for you, not to you” and “on some level of your being, you chose to come here at this time to have this experience as part of your soul’s journey” and “it all works out in the end, if it hasn’t worked out, then it’s not the end”. In other words, chin up chick, you’ll be right. But I wasn’t right, no, not at all.
There was a hurt, broken little girl inside who desperately needed that acknowledged. She needed her hurt to be seen, to be felt, to be heard and to be loved and she wasn’t going anywhere I wanted till it was. And I don’t blame her.
Acknowledgement and grieving
Acknowledgement is a crucial part of healing. And so is grief. Grieving for what might have been and for what didn’t happen. Grieving for the unmet needs, for who you might have been and what you might have achieved. That shit hurts. And it needs acknowledgement.
So if a part of you is crying out for acknowledgement then please take a minute to watch this powerful little clip. And whether you have been perpetrator or victim or both, take it in. Take it right in, to every cell of your body. Right in to your DNA. Right in to your heart. Acknowledge, grieve, forgive and love yourself like never before. That little one inside you, will thank you for it and will prove to be your biggest ally rather than your biggest saboteur.
And if you would like to find out how I can hold the space for you as you work these big complex issues through, then book a complimentary initial consultation with me. I would love to hear from you. Book now.