I was dropping my son at soccer practice after school the other day, and all the Mums had a quick chat before whizzing off to do the 101 things Mums do in the 1 hour before coming back to pick up their sons again.
But one Mum totally threw me. She said “now I just need to decide whether I’m going to go and have a glass of wine or a hot bath”.
And I thought “when was the last time those words came out of my mouth at 4pm on a school night?” Like, NEVER!! And I thought, “damn lady, you are totally right!” Why aren’t we all doing that?! And I realised it was my old friend…fear of laziness.
It is no news to me that one of the main things behind my own bouts of burnout and fatigue, was a fear of being lazy. I was told repeatedly that I was lazy growing up and that voice was still in my head, banging away whenever I tried to relax. And eventually it just became a mentality, a way of thinking that I was not really aware of any more, I’d just have feelings of guilt or anxiety every time I’d lie down or pick up a magazine. And although I have gotten better at that now, I realised there were still some remnants remaining and it was time to do something about them!
Do you struggle with procrastination and lack of motivation?
One of the main things behind procrastination is not laziness, but resistance. When we fear something, we overcompensate and go to the other extreme. So when we fear we are lazy we constantly push ourselves to do stuff in order to appear not lazy. But this causes a kind of internal struggle and we start resisting the constant pressure. We start procrastinating and putting stuff off as a way to try and gain some down time for ourselves, or as a way to reinstate balance. So when we “should” be working, we’re reading magazines and when it’s time for reading magazines we’re freakin’ out because we haven’t got our work done. Or is it just me who does this 😉 ?
I realised for myself, that unless I embrace my inner sloth and allow complete slothdom to take over, I will never be truly free to work or to relax. I’ll resent the working and feel guilty during the relaxing. Basically, I need to make friends with the fear of being lazy by being as lazy as I possibly can. Sounds like great logic to me, hehe.
This is also the basic premise behind making friends with food and letting go of the dieting mentality. It’s not just about eating bread again, its about letting go of the fear of eating bread. And sometimes the only way to do that is to eat a whole heap of bread!
So for the next 30 days I am going to embrace my inner sloth and be as lazy as I possibly can (to reinstate balance of course, no fun intended ;-)). ‘Work hard, play hard’ is a great mantra, but if we have a fear of playing or we resent ‘having’ to work, we get out of balance. Slothdom will look different for everyone, but for me it looks like:
- Sleep in, rest, cat nap, laze about, read in the sun
- Hot spa, massage, pampering
- Not working too hard, just doing the bare minimum
- Eating whatever I want, lots of yummy whole foods
- Lots of leisurely walks
- Lots of love, cuddles, empathy, understanding, being easy on myself, being good to myself, being kind to myself and letting myself off the hook in terms of achievement and performance
- Basically, getting so f#@ken chilled out that I have to check my pulse cos I may well be dead!
If you struggle with being motivated at work and/or feel guilty for relaxing, have a look at what’s behind it and if it resonates, join me! And if you can’t find just one hour in your day to be a complete sloth, and you want to, then book a 30 min FREE discovery session with me here and we can explore that together! x